And in my book, this was the best advice.
The day of my surprise birthday party I had made strict plans to stay home. I was going to start by doing my laundry, followed by an hour of Vinayasa yoga, and for the grand finale, binge watch Sex and The City until I passed out: the marathon continues.
I had some speculation that something was going to go down – my baby sister had given away a “surprise planning” a few months ago, my friends asked me if I had seen a video two days ago and my mom was acting super weird day of. But my birthday came and went with nothing. And since I had gone out the night before to a “wedding crashers” fete, the second themed event-invite didn’t seem all that off. The “I love 90s” party was the brain child of Ludi Nsimba, my BFF of 25+ years and industry co-hort who runs her own PR agency: NTA.
To say I was overwhelmed and humbled by the night would be an understatement. I even went shy at one point and couldn’t look directly at the room. A group of amazing and talented people who I admire and cherish so much. In short I have THE BEST friends ever, people who remind me everyday to fan my flames.
Here’s some advice I collected for my 30s:
- Embrace NO more and reserve your YESSES – I have a good handle on this BUT I was always made to feel bad for saying NO. And worse, I started to actually feel bad. It’s ok to put yourself first when you NEED to.
- LET GO – to both the small things and “big” things. Because you’ll have to save your energy for the things that actually matter like: self-growth, self-awareness and self-belief.
- Now is the time for guts – I learned that iguanas are afraid of the most ridiculous things, like a plaid shirt. So there you have it, proof that fear is irrational. Go for it! Whatever that it is: the new job you’ve always wanted, the new apartment you’ve dreamt of, the relationship you aspire to have. No MORE waiting.
- Trust your journey but GO HARDER – this was by far the best advice. Sometimes I get caught up with the metrics of life. Where I saw myself at this stage, what paycheck I should be collecting, how many hits I should get on a post *eye roll*… But really none of that matters more than the fact that I’m on this journey and doing my best.
- LOVE is unconditional – I am so grateful for the people in my life. We’ve been through thick and thin, ups and downs, and many hurdles. Through it all, they’ve stuck by me and inspired me to be a better friend, partner and person.
To my friends and family reading this: I love you with my whole heart and I will find you in any lifetime.
Photo story by Gabe Zacchaeus